April 2017 - FET #1, The Waiting...Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

Michael and I have lamented on a few occasions that the path to having kids will never be normal for us.  During my second pregnancy, which ended in miscarriage like the first, we were already feeling the egg shells beneath our feet.  Every blood test, every scan, every step felt precarious.  We have joked that we can relax when the baby is finally born, which then, we won't get to relax for the rest of our lives!

The waiting period from transfer until beta (HCG blood test to confirm pregnancy), started off fairly easy.  We left the operating room with the wonderful status of "Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!"  We coasted on the good vibes from the normal genetics test on Schrodinger, the flawless transfer, and my wonderfully thick and healthy uterine lining.  Everything felt good for a few days.  I was determined to ride this feeling out all the way to my blood test and NOT try to do an at-home pee test (POAS - Pee On A Stick) at home.

Indeed.

Michael was due to leave town Tuesday evening for a work conference in Las Vegas.  Not something he could reschedule, and something he really shouldn't miss for his new role.  I started to get the itch to POAS around Sunday.  I polled an IVF group on Facebook...  Let me clarify, if you haven't already noticed, there's quite a bit of fertility lingo and acronyms, here are a few I'll use now:

BFP = "Big Fat Positive" referring to a positive pregnancy test

DPT = "Days Past Transfer"

POAS = "Pee On A Stick"

beta / beta test = HCG blood pregnancy test done at clinic

As you can see, a majority of this group was able to get a positive POAS test
by 6 days past their transfer of a 5-day old embryo

Granted, this isn't a full-on official set of data, just the ~100 or so ladies who responded, but 100 ain't bad to get a feel for what to expect.  And more than half of them were able to get a positive POAS test at home by the 6th day after their transfer of a 5-day old embryo.  For me, 6 days past would be Tuesday before Michael needed to leave for Vegas.  Hmmm...  Additionally, it's still possible, though not likely to get a positive test all the way out to 10 days past.  My beta was scheduled for 9 days past, so thankfully I wouldn't have to wait that long.

I will say, Michael didn't want me to test.  He said I would just then be stressed about the levels going up, and the next step, and the next step.  Why not just relax?

I couldn't help thinking I was peeing evidence of success down the drain every morning.  Tuesday morning, I tested.  Now, I've done many of these tests over the 3 years we've been trying.  I've researched which ones have the best sensitivity and figured out my own POAS tricks.  My process goes something like this:

Kelly's Pee On A Stick (POAS) Methodology

1. Try to use morning pee, better concentration of hormones (I know, ew...)
2. Use a little cup to collect your pee; enough to run a couple of tests, if needed.  Think a small plastic Dixie cup.  If you get a questionable result or it doesn't work right, you won't be stressed out downing Gatorade until you are able to pee again.
3. Don't overfill the cup.
4. Dip the stick into pee cup for the instructed amount of time on the POAS box.  It varies.  Read the instructions.  Put the cap back on the wet end.
5. Lay the test flat.  Under good light...really good light, because you're NOT going to be able to NOT look at it.  I promise, you might find yourself not breathing.  Breathe.
6. Check the box again to be sure you know how long to wait...usually 3 mins, but you never know, and in the moment, you will forget, even if you looked at it two seconds before.  Set a timer, if you're really worried.
7. Lift pee stick, keeping it flat, and focus on the little window...is there a second line?  Maybe if you move your head around and look from an angle?  You might look a little like a crazy chicken bobbing your head around this stick, but don't worry, we all do it.  The new curved sticks are awful for angle viewing.  Whoever redesigned it that way should be slapped repeatedly.  
8. How long has it been?  30 seconds?  Jesus...Breathe.
9. Try to do something else.  Wash your hands.  Play a game on your phone.  Your eyes are still on the test.  Breathe.
10. Ok, it should show something by now.  All of my positive tests showed after only about 20-30 seconds, at least faintly.  But I always give the negative ones the full time.
11. When I'm fairly sure it's negative and the second line is non-existent, I make myself walk away.
12. You return about 10 mins later to check again, maybe under a different, brighter light?  Nope.
13. You throw it away.  You don't want to look at it anymore.
14. 20 mins later, you dig it out of the trash and hold it up to the light, just under your nose to be sure.  You know the results are technically not valid at that point, but if it shows ANYTHING, then maybe you should use your Dixie cup and a different test, right?! 
15. Inevitably, in my experience, the test just goes back in the trash.  As I said, the few positives I've gotten have shown up early, regardless of now faint they are.  Sigh...
16. Calculate how many sticks you have left and when you could / should test again.  Maybe by tonight?  Sometimes 12hrs is enough, right?

Last Tuesday morning, the test was negative.  The above list was my routine.  I was ever so slightly more stressed now, because most of the ladies in my unofficial anxiety poll would have already had a positive pee test by now.  Not to worry! I thought...maybe tomorrow.  I was feeling cramps pretty regularly, which is a symptom of implantation.  With every twitch, cramp, and twinge, I can't help but feel like it's definitely happening.

And I proceeded to test every morning until the morning of my beta (blood test)...and sometimes in the afternoon.  Maybe Schrodinger is just procrastinating?  Google search, "How late can an embryo feasibly still implant?"  Ironically, Schrodinger is still living up to the name...it was going to come down to the last minute to find out if the cat is alive or dead.

Pretty mush, yes.